Thursday, February 2, 2012

I Have So Much More Respect For Crafters

It is a little-known fact that I've known how to crochet since I was fairly young. I remember my mother teaching me how to crochet a blanket when we were still living in our first house - I was probably around 8 or 9, because we moved shortly thereafter. And so, for the past (ye gods) 20 years or so (holy shit now I feel old), I have, on occasion, gotten out a hook and yarn and worked on an unfinished project. Because for all of those 20 years (sweet hibbly jibblies) I really only knew two stitches. The one to start the blanket (what we hookers (hehe) call a chain stitch) and something called a half-double crochet. It sounds fucking complicated, but it was what I learned, and I got to be damn good at making enormous blankets while I watched television. It was the best way to survive winters in South Dakota - not only did I have something productive to do, but it kept me warm while I was doing it!

Aaaaanyway... I eventually got sick of making enormous blankets, and normal-sized blankets are boring, so I wondered how I could keep crocheting, but not have to lug around a project for three years until it's finished, and I can give it away to a properly-unwitting friend. Then I saw this blog. Go there. I'll wait.

Ponies. Crocheted ponies. I did a little more searching, and discovered that you can crochet a whole butt-ton of things, but mostly things that are cute.

"Damn, that looks complicated," I thought. "But I've been crocheting for 20 (*sigh*) years, I'll bet I've got enough of the basics to be able to pick it up easily enough."

I found a good tutorial (you want good amigurumi tutorial? You go here. You go here now!) and watched the videos, and found a beginner pattern and went to town.

That was project one. Some random enormous-headed blue person-thing. Look how proud of myself I look.

Project two. Curious Alien. This thing's feet were sons of bitches. It is my least favorite. Also, variegated blue was not a good yarn choice. Check me out hiding behind it. I am so ashamed...

You ready for project three? Because it's fucking awesome.

Remember what I said about being able to crochet practically anything, but especially cute things? I ended up making two Hobbeses, and I didn't even keep either one of them, because I am a chump.

Projects three and four. Guess which one was a gift for a coworker, and which one is on the top shelf of our enormous DVD tower.

Cthulhu is hard to see, because he pretty much absorbs all light around him. Possibly because I chose a variegated dark green. Regardless, I have no good pictures of Cthulhu. Also, why don't I have a completed photo, with his wings that drove me mad? Mad, I tell you; mad! Also, pink elephant. I put googly eyes on it, too, but I don't have a photo of that, either. Probably because Cthulhu made me so crazy.

Here are projects five and six. And you know what? They're ponies. They are still in progress, because the original blogger that made the ponies in the first place has yet to release a pattern, so I just went off of the photos there, and did the best I could with what I already knew about crocheting cute things. As it stands, the bodies for Rarity and Rainbow Dash are fully constructed, and now only need detail - eyes, mane, tail, and cutie marks, basically.

I'm sure I'll tweak the pattern I've devised a little bit when I start working on Applejack, and if I ever want to do Fluttershy, I'm going to have to come up with a new wing pattern because that made me almost as crazy as Cthulhu's wings (PS, did you ever think you'd see Fluttershy and Cthulhu mentioned in the same sentence... twice?), but by and large, I'm fairly happy with the pattern, if not my current ability with the details. I have no idea, for instance, how to not make Rarity look completely derped, but this is a learning process. In spite of the fact that I've been crocheting as long as I have (oh, so long ago), I'm still not much of a crafter. Anyone who can do a lot of this type of thing has my respect.

That said, I'm a little tempted to keep Rarity's eyes the way they are, put her on Etsy, and see if I can't get featured on Regretsy. Because that would probably make my goddamn day.

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