Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Asterisks are always important

I read this article, because I am a woman adult human being adult human being who is not a damn dirty hippie*, and so I shave regularly. Good razors are important things, so I considered this article relevant to my interests as an adult human being that shaves regularly.

As I read the article, I noticed, as I hope you will when you peruse the article yourself, that after the "yearly cost" for each razor is shown, an asterisk is also displayed. So I searched for its meaning, and read this:

*Cost assumes an average of eight every-other-day shaves per cartridge or razor.
Huh. Every other day. Now I know why women bitch about shaving so much. It's because they're shaving as much as three times as frequently per week more than I am. Seriously. When I say I "shave regularly," "regularly" means once a week. Maybe my undiscovered super power is body hair that grows three times slower than the rest of the adult human beings on this planet.

This honestly blows my mind, and I'm astonished that every-other-day shaving is so common that a Yahoo! article will use it as a standard for razor testing. What is the math on this? Assuming I shave once per week, and use each disposable razor four times before discarding it, am I saving much more than the rest of the women who follow the standard?

Or maybe I'm more of a damn dirty hippie* than I thought I was. And on an unrelated note, I'm saddened that the only unusual labels that have been suggested are "Recreation" and "Collecting".

*I don't think hippies are damned or dirty. It's just an expression. An expression that got into my vocabulary (would "vocabulary" apply to a phrase, rather than a word?) via South Park.
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Monday, June 13, 2011

Ye gods, this shit is hard.

I've been telling myself for a long damn time to start writing blog posts again. How long? Well, if you look at the previous post, you'll notice that it was put up in August of last year. So we'll call it six to eight months. But when it gets to the point where it's been almost a year since the last time you sat down to talk to the internet for an extended period of time, that shit gets intimidating, man.

And I'm not going to lie to you, Blogger has changed some things since I last tried to write a blog post, and that's intimidating, too. For instance, I just noticed that it's recommending some labels for this post. The labels happen to include "Black Orchid", "Lady Lynda", "Galilean", and "Jesus".

What the everloving fuck? "Jesus" I can sort of understand, because I used the phrase "ye gods" in the title, and "damn" in the first sentence. That makes sense, I guess. But I have no idea what "Black Orchid," "Lady Lynda," or "Galilean" are supposed to refer to, with or without this particular blog post's context. "Galilean" probably has something to do with Galileo, I'll bet, but that's as far as I'm getting. I'm going to warn you, my wide audience of 9 followers, this suggested labels thing is a little mesmerizing. I want to just keep going and see what kind of labels I can end up with. Or at least until Blogger realizes that I'm an atheist, and all these religious labels are slightly inappropriate. Wouldn't that be fun?

No. That would not.

Enough ranting about internet weirdness. Suffice to say that it's midnight thirty, and I've had exactly one beer three hours ago, which means I'm a little off my rocker because I am extraordinarily lame. It's enough to make me want to mix myself a little drink to make sure that beer isn't lonesome. How's this for an idea? I've got raspberry vodka and orange juice (the labels suggestion added "Resurrection of Jesus" just now; this is trippy!), so that's more or less a screwdriver. But how delicious would it be if I used frozen blueberries instead of ice cubes? I've been considering that combination for a few days, but I haven't worked up the courage to try it. Not because I'm afraid it won't taste good, but because I don't want to feel like a lush. That's how my brain works, you guys.
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