Friday, March 5, 2010

Looking Back

Next Thursday, March 11, will mark the fifth anniversary of my divorce.

In the past, I have celebrated this event in different ways. The first year, I brought out my wedding dress, hacked the skirt from a respectable floor-length to somewhere mid-thigh, tried to dye it a pretty green-blue, and went out and got utterly wasted with my closest friends. I don't remember a whole lot of that evening, but I do remember that it was amazingly fun.

The second year, I made my roommate drink a shot with me.

The third and fourth years, I recorded these videos and posted them on YouTube.

So, for year five, what shall I do?

Right now, the only thing I expect to do is to spend 5-7 hours in a car, make myself and my boyfriend a passable supper, and pass out. It's probably time to stop celebrating this thing, I think.

My marriage was a huge mistake, and I never felt so free or so relieved as when I was finally able to end it. And in the past, it has seemed like that end was a good, and right, and proper thing to celebrate. It felt kin to a birthday, in a way. Each year was a new one in my new, happier life.

The problem here is that I think I've been so focused on the way I felt, that I didn't give a whole lot of thought to the way I behaved. And now that I've actually started to think about that, the feelings of freedom and relief don't feel that important anymore. So it's time to grow up.

Here's to you, year five. I'm an adult now.

Ok, so I'm mostly an adult now. You can't grow up completely, can you?
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1 comment:

  1. hey, we're all immature and always growing ... that's normal ... plus, these videos are awesome ... hopefully as time goes on you'll get the urge to do more creative stuff like that ... cheers